A picture of a perfectly toned African male hangs in Beaner's apartment.

I just happen to have a photo of it.

WWMacGD

Q and I stopped at World Market to pick up some snacks on the way to see a movie. Being that it was a Drive-In theatre, snacks included wine and food that complements wine. This was an impulse trip to the Drive-In, so we also picked up a corkscrew to ease the opening process.

We settled into our spot and started getting comfortable. I reclined my seat a bit and used a roll of papertowel as a pillow.

The sun was setting and it was a good time to dig into the first bottle of wine.

UH OH. No glasses. It was then we asked ourselves, WWMacGD (what would MacGyver do)?

In a lightning fast move, Queenie handed me the tools as I called them out.

Empty water bottle.

Corkscrew.

Towel to dab my brow.

In no time I was tearing into the plastic creating a vessel for to partake in my drink.

I produced two lovely glasses.

We enjoyed every sip of that bottle.

We usually have some alcohol during the first movie and then eat some snacks and watch the second movie. You see there are 3 movies back to back when you go to the Drive –In. The first begins at dusk which was around 10pm that night. The second starts around midnight.

Queenie and I fell asleep around midnight.

Queenie and I awoke to watch the last five minutes of the second movie.

Queenie and I left after the second movie.

Queenie and I are getting old.

Queenie Works in Community Television

Apparently Queenie does not work for Public Access Television. This has a bad connotation - so she says.

She works in Community Television. The television brought to the people by the people. Queenie is one of the people.

She made this lovely gem...



JEM.

Truly outrageous.



Truly truly truly outrageous!

Remember that show? I digress.

I wish Queenie would ask me to be on her TV...

A blog fit for a Queenie

Queenie is my roomie and my baby sister. She is mentioned quite a bit in this blog, but in true 'baby of the family' fashion, she reminds me often that there has never been an ENTIRE entry devoted to the greatness that is Queenie.

So here you go. A big Queenie-sized celebration of Queenie.

Age: 29

Height: 5'7"

Weight: UPDATE: THIS ITEM REMOVED DUE TO DEATH THREATS AND THE HORSE HEAD IN MY BED.

Hair: blond... platinum

Occupation: TV (I mean she works in the industry...well, she watches a lot of it too)

Hobbies: photography, hopscotch, spelunking, crafts with pipe cleaners and taking in orphaned hamsters

Why do y'all call her Queenie? Well... when she was a wee one, she wanted everything, demanded everything and usually got everything - mostly from her two older sisters who tended to give in to shut her up.

"I want to go on the slide!"

"I want my picture taken just like Beaner!"

"I want ham!"

Seriously though, she was cute. We didn't mind spoiling her too much. Besides, she was extremely good at fetching things for us.

"Hey guys, should I really take money from Kimmy's purse?"

She has the best hair. Except for when she died it orange, green or burgundy it has always been this perfect platinum blond.

Well, maybe not here...

She is stubborn steadfast in her beliefs.

She is an attention whore lovably aggressive in presenting herself.

She is my best pal.


Happy Happy, Queenie. I hope you enjoyed your ice cream breakfast!

Humid to Frigid

It was so hot and humid last Sunday that the Twin Cities Marathon was a bear to run. The temp was in the 70's and the dew point was 90! 900 people who began the race did not finish it. The Chicago Marathon was cancelled 3 and a half hours into the race and around 300 people were rushed away by ambulance.

I was also affected. The air conditioner ran full blast in my apartment that day and I was sweating during my walk to the mailbox. Okay, not quite the same thing.

Monday's high was 52. This morning it was 38.

I slept with socks on last night and I am contemplating putting on the heat. Queenie had on a sweatshirt and long johns when she groggily made her way to the bathroom. And speaking of bathroom... Nothing. I mean nothing is worse than dropping trow and exposing your toasty warm butt cheeks to the frigid toilet seat first thing in the morning!

I don't know if I should complain. I mean I did say that I love Autumn... blah, blah, blah, wool sweater...brown turtleneck, but I would like to fully pack my bikini(HAHAHAHA) away before I drag the the winter garb out.

Don't you agree Queenie?

The time that I admitted I will probably enjoy watching a film about a little wizard and his school chums.

Today is the first of two significant summertime events for Queenie. It is the day Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix opens in theatres (the second event being the last H.P. book).

This doesn’t mean too much to me of course. You see, I am one of the few souls that didn’t get hooked into J.K. Rowling’s little world of wizardry and lore. I have been affected however. I have hardly been able to chat with Q since her nose has been buried in various Harry Potter books. Books she has read 2 or 3 times already. It seems she is cramming for the movies much like she would if she was prepping for the SATs and she is taking me along for the ride. I have learned terms like ‘muggle’ and ‘pollyjuice potion’. I am prepared for Harry’s godfather to die in this movie. I know that Harry gets his first kiss in this movie. I know that Harry is 15 in this movie because it is the 5th movie and Harry was 11 in the first. I am schooled and I will be seeing this movie, probably tonight. Probably in 3D Imax.

Queenie nearly convinced me to see this movie at 6 am today. SIX… A… M… But, this muggle convinced Q to stay in her warm safe bed. Expecto Slumborum!

Oh Q. I will see this film and I will probably enjoy it.

Is it wrong that I may be thinking about this instead?

Bad teeth equal good times.

88 cents bought us entertainment for an entire weekend once.

It all started during a beer run when we were in the Dells Wisconsin not too long ago. You see, we were heartbroken after being denied at the movie theater, so we decided to pick up some drinky, some snacks and a board game. We found a Wal-Mart Super Center about 35 miles away.

We learned from the brilliant advertising all around the beer coolers that NO ALCOHOL CAN BE SOLD AFTER 9 PM… ONLY BEER. I love the Dairyland and it’s delicious priorities! Anyway, we decided to pick up some beer, some cups, Apples to Apples and a 4 pack of novelty teeth.

We could not wait to tear into those babies and immediately put them in. Beaner chose who should get which pair using a scientific process based on mouth size. For some reason, she decided I should have the largest pair.

Queenie put hers to good use right away.

JMan's teeth made him go cross-eyed.



Then, since we weren’t absurd and geeky enough and because we were polishing off the last of the beer, we decided to pretend that we smoked. We thought the brand name of the candy cigarettes was appropriate.

I know what you’re thinking, “Pretend smoking and pretend bad teeth? Crazy bastards!”

The only bad thing was the chocolate of the cigarettes melted and it looked like our “cool accessories” fell into dog shit. Good times.



The rest of the weekend saw beautiful shots like these...

Out of all of us tho'...Beaner totally got into the teeth!

Yeah, I am sorry I forgot your name...but, I can sing every word to "Ice Ice Baby"

My sibs and I have a soundtrack to our lives that was created by our warped parents taste in music, musty recordings of Disney tunes from Grandma’s basement, and the wonderful, blissful years of MTV in its toddler years before it became the non-music garbage it is today.

We used to play this game (OK, we still do) where you flip through the channels on the radio and the first person to name the song before it is sung gets a point. To accommodate every one's strengths, you could also earn points for artist. I love this game. I totally kill at this game. A skill I still hoping will someday lend to a lucrative career. Growing up, we could play this game for hours. Cheap entertainment based on something we all loved... what could be better?

I love music. It plays in the background of every memory. I have an arsenal of songs lodged deep in the corners of my brain. They reside there amongst the 87.8 billion useless bits of pop culture trivia. I have no hope of remembering a person’s name or worse yet new phone numbers (sorry Beaner, but I do have you on speed dial). But, I bet I can name that tune or tell you who played Brandon and Brenda on 90210.


Lets spark some memories shall we…

Manic Monday
Like A Virgin
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
Bear Necessities

Amanda by Boston - Sobbed for hours after 6th grade break-up... he started dating Amanda...that bitch (OK, still an open wound)

Man Eater, Hall and Oats – Dancing in the living room on Main Street, Weyauwega. Beaner’s famous dance.

Rod Stewart’s Infatuation- “Oh no not again”… 5 year old Queenie shouting the lyrics while drugged up after she broke her arm.

Jethro Tull (any song) – Dad in Bugle Boy jeans banging on the car dash or playing air guitar.

Maggie May - Thoughts of Mom in the 80’s…Feathered hair, bare feet.

The Flame (and Cheap Trick’s Greatest Hits) – Greatest camping trip!

Queen or Big Chill Soundtrack - Time to clean house girls… Like Pavlov’s dog, hearing any song from The Big Chill soundtrack or Queen’s Greatest Hits, makes me feel the need to pick up a can of Pledge.

What are some of your examples?

Dells Wisconsin: The Off-Season (part 2)

3 chicks and a guy went out Saturday morning for a stroll down the streets of Dells Wisconsin. It was the off-season and where there should be areas in which to squash your flip-flops, there were instead scenes like this…

The travelers didn’t care. They were out for adventures. Oh the adventures!!!

First, they happened upon a funeral…


Apparently a fairy died and her porcelain family and friends gathered in a candy store to pay their respects and listen to "Amazing Grace" on a mini boom box.


After purchasing some candy paying their respects, the travelers continued their journey meandering through little shops chock full of things like wind chimes made from forks, T-shirts displaying “My pals went to WI. Dells and all I got was this stinking t-shirt!” and ancient Native American artifacts like pink, plastic tom-toms.

One place was guarded by a giant troll who entertained the journeymen with a chorus of “You are my Sunshine”.


Beaner bravely told him he had nice pants. It made him smile.


Then he went to sleep.


Peppered among the stores hawking their wares were attractions like wax museums and haunted houses. A particularly sinister place was guarded by this guy…

The travelers wondered how they captured the likeness of their uncle, BigC, so well.

When this sign was spotted by Stuff, she stopped dead in her tracks. She was drawn in by the possibilities and the dreams that her most intimate questions could finally be addressed.


She couldn’t get her dollar in fast enough.


She silently asked this mad scientist her question gazing into his adorable, wisdom-filled face.


She waited for him to answer….


He cackled maniacally and thought hard as his little body shook and his hands made motions on the dials making lights flash all through his little glass laboratory. Buzzing, clicking, and static electricity all added to the show.

When he gave her a dollars worth of time, he paused and said, “The only thing that I can tell you… the answer you seek…the magical word that will solve your dilemma is…

...perhaps”

Perhaps? Only then did she see this:



Beaner was much luckier in her quest for knowledge. By lucky, I mean she got a cool slip of paper for her dollar.

Zoltar caught her fancy with his delicious gold lame´ head scarf.

It didn’t hurt that he also had sconces closely resembling ones in her Grandma and Grandma’s bedroom circa 1985.


The other travelers waited as she and Zoltar looked deep into each other’s eyes so that the most accurate fortune could be told.


“Thank you Zoltar. I shall name my first born after you as promised. Also, the sacrificial goat will arrive in 7 to 10 business days.”



In other shops they busied themselves with silly hats and pictures seen here.

JMan had his heart set on this one.


The other travelers did their best to convince him that while a career in the Over-The-Road-Arts is a lucrative one, this was not the best look for him.

Neither was this:


Around this time the travelers needed a much needed break and some much needed caffeine. They decided to give some business to some cranky crotchety colorful older ladies.


“Iced” was not the best choice for Queenie. She got a little bit chilly.


She then re-created her look for her audition for the next Harry Potter movie (yeah Q, I know only 80 more days).


With their jolt of caffeine-induced energy they decided to partake in the River Walk.


By partake I mean they walked about 200 feet then decided it was too flippin cold to continue.


And besides, the damned paparazzi were following them.




Then, the lovebirds pretended they were in a silent movie.





The last destination for adventure was a magical land where candy grew on trees.


In one area the tourists the adventuresome travelers learned how unrefined cola made its way through gingerbread houses all the way to the factory.


They also beheld sticky, Technicolor goodness…


All in all the journey through the Dell's Downtown in the off-season was an enjoyable one. They each walked away with some fond memories, a quirky trinket or two and the best lesson of all…

Even if you don't always feel it, you can certainly buy it.

Now, isn’t that special!


Note…thanks Q for most of the photography and the Photoshopping magic you donated to this post. Also, JMan and Beaner, thanks for being so photogenic.