Dells Wisconsin: The Off-Season (part 2)

3 chicks and a guy went out Saturday morning for a stroll down the streets of Dells Wisconsin. It was the off-season and where there should be areas in which to squash your flip-flops, there were instead scenes like this…

The travelers didn’t care. They were out for adventures. Oh the adventures!!!

First, they happened upon a funeral…


Apparently a fairy died and her porcelain family and friends gathered in a candy store to pay their respects and listen to "Amazing Grace" on a mini boom box.


After purchasing some candy paying their respects, the travelers continued their journey meandering through little shops chock full of things like wind chimes made from forks, T-shirts displaying “My pals went to WI. Dells and all I got was this stinking t-shirt!” and ancient Native American artifacts like pink, plastic tom-toms.

One place was guarded by a giant troll who entertained the journeymen with a chorus of “You are my Sunshine”.


Beaner bravely told him he had nice pants. It made him smile.


Then he went to sleep.


Peppered among the stores hawking their wares were attractions like wax museums and haunted houses. A particularly sinister place was guarded by this guy…

The travelers wondered how they captured the likeness of their uncle, BigC, so well.

When this sign was spotted by Stuff, she stopped dead in her tracks. She was drawn in by the possibilities and the dreams that her most intimate questions could finally be addressed.


She couldn’t get her dollar in fast enough.


She silently asked this mad scientist her question gazing into his adorable, wisdom-filled face.


She waited for him to answer….


He cackled maniacally and thought hard as his little body shook and his hands made motions on the dials making lights flash all through his little glass laboratory. Buzzing, clicking, and static electricity all added to the show.

When he gave her a dollars worth of time, he paused and said, “The only thing that I can tell you… the answer you seek…the magical word that will solve your dilemma is…

...perhaps”

Perhaps? Only then did she see this:



Beaner was much luckier in her quest for knowledge. By lucky, I mean she got a cool slip of paper for her dollar.

Zoltar caught her fancy with his delicious gold lame´ head scarf.

It didn’t hurt that he also had sconces closely resembling ones in her Grandma and Grandma’s bedroom circa 1985.


The other travelers waited as she and Zoltar looked deep into each other’s eyes so that the most accurate fortune could be told.


“Thank you Zoltar. I shall name my first born after you as promised. Also, the sacrificial goat will arrive in 7 to 10 business days.”



In other shops they busied themselves with silly hats and pictures seen here.

JMan had his heart set on this one.


The other travelers did their best to convince him that while a career in the Over-The-Road-Arts is a lucrative one, this was not the best look for him.

Neither was this:


Around this time the travelers needed a much needed break and some much needed caffeine. They decided to give some business to some cranky crotchety colorful older ladies.


“Iced” was not the best choice for Queenie. She got a little bit chilly.


She then re-created her look for her audition for the next Harry Potter movie (yeah Q, I know only 80 more days).


With their jolt of caffeine-induced energy they decided to partake in the River Walk.


By partake I mean they walked about 200 feet then decided it was too flippin cold to continue.


And besides, the damned paparazzi were following them.




Then, the lovebirds pretended they were in a silent movie.





The last destination for adventure was a magical land where candy grew on trees.


In one area the tourists the adventuresome travelers learned how unrefined cola made its way through gingerbread houses all the way to the factory.


They also beheld sticky, Technicolor goodness…


All in all the journey through the Dell's Downtown in the off-season was an enjoyable one. They each walked away with some fond memories, a quirky trinket or two and the best lesson of all…

Even if you don't always feel it, you can certainly buy it.

Now, isn’t that special!


Note…thanks Q for most of the photography and the Photoshopping magic you donated to this post. Also, JMan and Beaner, thanks for being so photogenic.