You may get a phone call from me this weekend!

I imagine my friends, family and that guy trying to sell me insurance thinking this each time I don't return a phone call.

I think I may spend some quality time with my phone pressed against my ear this weekend since we are expecting snow. SNOW.

Hey, just don't get mad if I am on the can while chatting with you.

Biker Chick?

To make up for the display of hot flashy embarrassment I put her through the other day, I am pleased to present you:

Mom. A black clad story of motorcycle babeness.

My mom was seriously too cool. I almost didn't recognize her.

Almost.

Her purple magic gloves were a dead give away:

Bad asses!

Hi Mom, don't hate me.

My mom had cancer removed from her body last September. They took a section of her colon that contained a cancerous tumor and since they were already in there, they took her estrogen- laden girly guts. I’m telling you this to give you an appreciation of a conversation I had with her when visiting WI a while back.

We were standing around Beaner’s kitchen island chatting it up when my mom grabbed my index finger and guided it to her upper lip. “Feel this," she said tightening her lip so that the bristly hairs jutted against my chubby finger pad.

“Wow, Mom that is quite the stubble!” I replied.

“I know! A lot of changes going on since that surgery in September,” She said shaking her head in disgust.

“A lot?” I asked.

“Yeah, a lot!”

Just then, a moment so perfect opened up for me. I mustered up my best concerned voice and said matter-of-factly, “Oh, like new testicles?”

I waited for her response. The usual one she gives when having to put up with my crap.

But, Mom did not miss a beat. Instead, she shocked me right back. My sweet mom actually mock-itched the area where testicles would be and replied, “Yep.”

That totally made my day.

It made up for having to witness this:

I like to call it…

Mom. A hot flash story.

Mom is seriously a ROCKSTAR! She puts up with me and she beat cancer. I love you, Mom!

NOVEMBER 1 AND MOM IS cancer FREE

I haven't been using this so much as a 'journal' of my day to day blah. Mostly because, um hello, my life is pretty boring. So, I didn't blog about my mom's relationship with colon cancer.

Read about her here: Mom's CaringBridge Site

Generally, events unfolded this way: Mom had a colonoscopy on August 31, 2007 and they removed some polyps that resided in 3 inches of her colon. After a biopsy revealed that there was cancer, they put her on the fast track to getting those 3 inches of cancer breeding ground removed. In meeting with the surgeon they also discussed doing a hysterectomy (to remove the other ‘breeding ground’ teehee) because at that time they were waiting for results from some abnormal cells found in her routine gynecological exam.

On Tuesday September 11, 2007, Mom had an exam to determine if a hysterectomy was the best course (by exam I mean painful, full body cavity search). The doctor discovered some concerns including HPV.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007, she had a complete hysterectomy and surgery to remove part of her colon and lymph nodes. She was in the hospital for about a week.

Pathology showed that there was only small amounts of cancer detected in the 'gunk' they removed. They felt that the cancer was removed along with the tumor and the only trace of the shit was in the spot where they lived in the colon (heehee...shit...colon...I am twelve).

She had an appointment this am with an oncologist and they did a cat scan and blood test as a precaution, but the Doc said he is certain the cancer was removed in surgery and there is NO NEED FOR CHEMO.

So, my mom HAD cancer. She is a survivor now. She is making Katie Curic proud due to her early detection. She is making me proud and thankful and man, I can breath a whole helluva lot easier now!

Bring on November, cuz October and September and freakin' cancer are HISTORY!

Angel's Trip

Angel, my doggie cousin went with us to Uncle DadsBro's cabin. She mostly sniffed around and napped.





Wonder what she dreamt about?





Or, maybe her boy friend (friend that is a boy)...





Nah, I like to think she dreamed of sunny beaches and endless amounts of sticks and endless amounts of people with endless amounts of energy to throw them.

Go North My Friends And Celebrate. Chapter Two: The Family Bonding Day.

Day two was to be the day we spent on the boat, cruising for fish, chicks, boys or whatever you cruise for on a lake in Minnesota.


It was the only full day we were there.

It was the only day it rained.

An interesting phenomenon occurs when it rains the full day and you are with your entire family in a small cabin.

First the rooms shrink.

Then boredom takes over and the board games, books, cards and blackberries (blackberries?) come out.

Boredom may also make you see all of the objects around you as art.

Queenie and I had a bit of a contest to see who could look more pitiful. I think I won.

JMan taught us all how to make a 'farting' noise with your mouth. He is a genius when it comes to emulating bodily functions (Beaner, you keep a hold of this one!)

When I said earlier, "our entire family". I meant it... We even had our two college kids there:

Even though the day was dreary and the boredom played tricks with our mind, we never lost sight of the big picture. We were there to party (I may even say par-tay). We needed to get the corn shucked, get some beer drank and of course get out the streamers.

After all, the weekend was all about celebrating a HALF CENTURY.

Toward nightfall, when we ate enough shucking corn to feed a shucking army, we had a little fire birthday cake.

Now, when you blow out the forest fires of the entire northern hemisphere 50 candles, you naturally need a nap. But, we wouldn't let him sleep... not when there were games afoot!

We had to play a rousing game with these:

A two hour rousing game.

TWO!! HOURS!!

I guess boredom also makes you bat around latex.

It sure was pretty entertaining watching everyone bump, set and spike the balloons at each other.

Wasn't it Dad?

Dad?

Okay... you sleep. Dream about sun. Perhaps it will be out tomorrow.

to be continued...