Confucius, you wacky bastard!

The best part of Chinese food is the fortune cookie (ok, not really but I didn’t know how to start this stimulating post. I mean really… I don’t write anything for months and then I vomit some drivel about a cookie… and could this be the longest comment in a parenthesis? My ability to digress is astounding!) Anyway, my last trip to Chef Chu’s produced this little gem:

Here we go. “Moo Shu Cereal” for breakfast with duck sauce.

What the?

I didn’t quite grasp what Confucius was trying to say with this bit of wisdom. I did however learn that my lucky numbers are 5, 16, 48 and 87.

My fortune deconstructed:


Here we go.
The use of “we” gives a sense of comfort. The reader knows Confucius is right along side of them.

“Moo Shu Cereal”
Is in quotes like it isn’t real. Research shows that it isn’t a real product. Confucius (who is right along with you) is one of those guys who mime quotes with his fingers. How annoying.

for breakfast
Signifies the beginning meal. He could have chosen lunch, but people do not have cereal for lunch… that is just silly.

with duck sauce.
The addition of a condiment gives a sense of companionship. The reader should feel that Confucius wants them to date.

?