Monday Monday

6 o’clock already? I was just in the middle of a dream. I was kissing Valentino by a crystal blue Italian stream…

Yes folks, it is just another Manic Monday…

Of course I woke up late. But, to my defense I somehow turned off my alarm instead of hitting the ‘snooze’ button the obligatory 4 times I do every morning. It was unfortunate too, because I was sent in the downward spiral that comes with starting the day off on the wrong foot.

I raced around to find the pants that required the least amount of ironing and/or cat hair removal. Once I found them, I had to choose a shirt with the same specifications plus an added feature of fitting over the tire that has grown in my midsection since last fall. This task can be a daunting one and I think the addition of a time crunch proved to work in my favor… perhaps I will sleep in tomorrow too. Once I matched my clothes, threw my hair into a damp ponytail/trendy knot concoction and slathered on some mascara, I was ready to depart. Since I was running late, I had no time to make coffee.

I arrived at work only 4 minutes late, but I felt like I had already missed hours. Everyone had already gathered to chat about the weekend in polite conversation and the coffee pot was almost empty. I say, “almost” because the last person to grab a cup left exactly enough java in the pot to fill my cup exactly one inch. I poured the pathetic dribble into my mug and drank it down – I needed it that bad. I started a fresh pot and then went back to my desk to wait for the slow drip of caffeine.

The usual Monday morning email trail helps me to plan out the day and I start to feel caught up…then, I remembered the hot coffee waiting for me in the break room.

I leap from my chair (yeah right, like I leap…ha) and race to the pot only to find it is being emptied into a carafe to take to the board meeting.

“What?” I say as the last bit of energy falls out of my body into a pool on the floor.

“It is for the board meeting.”

“O.K., I will make another pot.”

“Could you? Great!”

I make another pot and return to my desk. A few minutes later, I eagerly go to fill up my mug. This time another coworker is filling up the carafe and she says, “If you want a cup, better take it now. This is for the board.”

We exchange eye-rolls and I filled my mug and returned to read the remainder of my emails.

The rest of my emails were the same old stuff…do this now, do this later, do this when you have a chance and the one where my favorite tech guy is leaving.

I don't like to pick favorites. In fact, I have the utmost respect for anyone who is a tech-nerd, but this guy was THE tech nerd. He was the architect of most of what I depend on to do my job. There are other people in our organization who are smart and talented, but something about him being with us from the beginning made me feel grounded. I knew if he didn't know the answer, it probably was unsolvable.

He is like…he is like…hmmm, well he is like grass. You know how if you draw a picture and you have a sky, a house, a tree and maybe a puppy, but you forget to scribble some green on the bottom to ground the picture and all of the objects appear to just be floating with no where to grow from… Well, he is like that. Grass.

It is hard to replace grass. I have witnessed people spending thousands of dollars on sod (fake tech nerds grass) to try to replicate it, but it never is quite the same. I have also seen it where people try to put other things in its place like concrete or stone and it serves the purpose, but it isn’t the same.

I will miss you, grass man… not to be confused with ass man (blatant Seinfeld reference).