Crazy Duck Alarm Clock

There is this duck on my pond.

In the all too early hours of the morning I hear his maniacal “quack” mocking me as I try in vain to hold on to my slumber. Actually, his "quack" is more of a laugh, with a cadence like none I have ever heard. I think he is much like a character in a bad mob movie, full of odd flaws yet strikes fear into the inhabitants of the murky waters below my balcony. His build is squatty causing him much trouble keeping his pants up. As he waddles around, he gives them an occasional hike. A stubby cigar is clenched in his bill making the intonation of his voice that much crazier.

In the evenings, his rants become personal. He may give his cackle in response to me breaking a nail or dropping a dish. I swear I heard his distinctive guffaw when I couldn’t find my glasses last week.

The weather is tuning cold and my windows are shut, but I still hear a muffled chortle every morning.

Soon the pond will freeze and the miniature mob boss will have to make his way to Boca to torment someone else.

Fly safe duck…you crazy bastard.