Tuesday Titter

I have no grandparents. Damn cancer. Yeah, I started my Tuesday Titter with that… trust me, this will all make sense.

Now, grab a tissue and pay attention.

Since I am challenged in the area of older generational influence and spoiling, I often look upon curly, white headed adults with a little yearning.

There are these two ladies that walk every day in our parking lot. I sometimes imagine them tittering away about one of their grandsons, the doctor, and how he is still searching for his tall, witty big-boned goddess. They will see me up in my tower (read: 2nd floor office window) in all my perfectly-dyed-brown-haired glory and know instantly that they must run home and call said grandson on their rotary dial phone to tell them all about me.

I will then meet and fall in love with Dr. CuteGrannyPants and voila – I have grandparents.

Sometimes my fantasy grandparents are on TV. The Empire Carpet guy throws me into a titter induced coma when I hear his melodic voice flow out of the tube and into my cold grandparentless heart. I am not sure what he looks like (since he is a cartoon now), but I could pick out that voice in a lineup if I needed to.

I wanted to find a clip of his voice... here he is in person in 1995. Just listen to it and imagine it 12 years older reading you a bedtime story... zzzzzz


I love his voice almost as much as I love my beloved Morgan Freeman’s voice.

Ah Morgan Freeman… I would have you read me the instructions of a suppository package if it would mean your dulcet and wise tones would invade my ears. Titter.


By the way, um Mr. Freeman?

Oh, call you Morgan. *Blush*

Ok, Mo.

Oh, not Mo... you think I went too far. Right.



Anyway...Morgan, I am not implying that I need you to fill the grandparent void. I would actually prefer you in an older, wiser phone sex type of role.

Thanks. Bye.