Swimmin Frog

Thursday, November 30, 2006
Dreams and Coffee Tables
It has always been a daydream of mine to put together a coffee table book. I love the idea of a book that begs you to pick it up and flip through its pages. I picture it being ideal for the nervous young man sitting on the edge of the sofa trying hard to keep his perfect posture as he waits for his date. He could pick up my book and pretend to read with interest all the while avoiding the eye contact of his date's surly looking father. It would also serve as a splendid way to spark conversation when you have guests that aren't real chatty, or if you really need to change the subject because a heated political or religious debate was ensuing. You could open it up to any one of its pages and start your discussion anew.

Why a coffee table book? Why not a novel? Well… while I love to write, I don't like pressure. The pressure to have a flowing bit of text that has to last for at least 100 pages is just too exhausting to even think about. I honestly can't imagine scraping out enough ideas from the recesses of my mind to go on for that long. Even if I did, would any body want to read it? With a coffee table book I can vomit forth bits of creativity, combine it with stimulating pictures and call it art. Pressure's off.

My book would have delicious colors on the front that both complemented and added to any décor. It would be timeless. It wouldn't fall victim to fad. It wouldn't end up like all other coffee table books resorted to holding up wobbly furniture or fodder for the garage sale circuit. I once had this Ansel Adams coffee table book because everyone was into him in the 90s. It now lives on the bottom shelf of my nightstand gathering dust with my 1975 encyclopedia and my journal that was started in '99 and still has many blank pages scattered throughout because I choose to write in it only at random. My book will be of interest to all.

Several ideas for the subject swim around my head. My favorite being a collection of lyrics. What? Has she gone mental? She can't mean lyrics, it's already been done. Oh, but wait… this compilation will be of interesting, off the wall lyrics. You will be exposed to "chicken in the bread pan pickin' out the dough", "put 'em in your pantry with your cupcakes", "swim like lions through the crest and bathe yourself in zebra flesh" and since no respectable book would complete with out it, "Gunpowder, gelatine, dynamite with a laser beam, guaranteed to blow your mind. Anytime". You could come to my book open it to any page and on it will be a brilliant depiction of the lyric, an explanation of the meaning and of course the lyric itself. I guess… "you may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one."