This I declare as Mom Nature is my witness.

I will keep my hair the natural bland/blondish/ashy color that was given to me by... what I can only imagine, the genes of my parents mashed together and put through a food processor.

And if I decide that my life’s happiness depends on a brighter hue, I should not attempt to color it on my own.

And if I decide to color it on my own (because I am cheap and crazy) and it turns out beautiful twice in a row, I should not assume it will turn out a third time. Mom Nature hates it when you play with her handy work and you may pay for it with RED... RED!!

Artist’s rendering

Note: Subject is actually taller. Subject has eyebrows in real life.


I actually liked the color of my hair after I colored it myself the first (and second) time. I was proud of my cosmetology skills. It was such a natural brown that even Mom Nature herself had to look twice.

For some reason, Queenie took this photo of me making out with my hair. I am so glad I have photographic evidence of it... oh memories... sweet memories...

See how happy I am. Oh BROWN... luxurious brown. I miss your natural out of the bottle hue. I will get you back and when I do, I will run my hands through you and appreciate you.