Snot and Chocolate
I am producing enough mucus to coat the inside of the Grand Canyon. It is slowly dripping out of my head…which is good because the pressure that was building was enough to cause a 9.0 reading on the Richter scale. And I can actually hear the ocean inside my plugged up ears. So, it is a lot like vacationing on the west coast. Speaking of pressure, a sumo wrestling champ has decided that taking a break from his sumoing duties will be most comfortable on my chest. I can’t wait until that crap starts working its way out... ewww.
On the upside - Kleenex brand tissue will not be going out of business anytime soon and my nose makes a strange whistling sound that could be the beginning of a lucrative career.
This crap has made its way through our office; it was just a matter of time before I succumbed to it. I did make it to work today and stayed long enough to perpetuate this bug’s hold on our staff. Just doing my part. Now I sit shivering under the Betty Boop lap blanket sipping tea and eating Dove dark chocolate hearts. I can’t really taste them, but it is comforting to feel the silkiness melt down my throat and mix with the snotty gunk down there. Perhaps when I expel that gunk later it will be a muddy brown instead of the bright green…just a thought.
Dove has printed little gems of love and cheesiness on their foil wrappers. Nice touch, it is like a grown up Valentine. I am almost tempted to find an empty shoebox and cover it in pink paper cut a hole out of the top and glue construction paper hearts all over it.
In case you are interested, the two that I had are…
“Remember your first crush.” That’s easy… Mike M. in kindergarten. He was funny and he didn’t eat paste.
“Chocolate always loves you back.” Thanks Dove. At least I have that going for me.
Fine I ate like 6… but, I am sick remember!
****Mom, if you are reading this, I hope your mouth is healing nicely from your surgery and they gave you some spectacular drugs. I wish I could be there. I would even share the Betty Boop blanket…but not my chocolate.
2 comments:
i was eating my dinner and thought i would check in and what do you write about? ... snot. nice. well i hope you feel better and try not to snot all over my Betty Boop blanket. love you!
Yes, I am reading this today and I wish I were there to help with the mucus expelling project, which will be doulby thick thanks to your intake of the coveted dark chocolate hearts. I am having chocolate withdrawl as I type this, I would have to hurt you to get them away from yo. So I guess it is a good thing we are not in the same place where chocolate is involved. Love you
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