Libations and My Big Mouth

10:30pm on a school night... oh how I wish sometimes that I was defiantly sitting with my laptop perched on top of my legs in my Carebear footy pajamas, under a blanket while my mom watches “Knots Landing” in the living room. But, alas it is not a school night for me and I am sitting in my sweats with my laptop on a pillow resting on my legs which are lazily sprawled out in the bed that I share with my cat. Leno is threatening to take over the 13’’ of TV screen that is across the room and I am waiting for the Advil to kick in so that I don’t wake up with a hangover.

We had our annual state of the biz meeting today at work and after we were treated to wine and fine finger treats while standing around rented tables with plastic table cloths. So, I am feeling the 4 glasses I decided to down while mingling with board members and various staff. When will I realize that my usually loud voice only increases in decibels as the wine courses through my system? When will I realize that when the Founder and Executive Director (F.E.D) asks me to stay for another drink it only means that I will show my true (and loud) colors, inevitably embarrassing myself.


The shindig was pretty much wrapped up around 7pm. A handful of die-hards were milling around starting to put on jackets and pack up their sorry asses to get home when she played the “let’s sit down and have a beer” card. Not one to pass up free libations, I sat amongst the other freeloaders to have a tête-à-tête and a Lineys. We laughed about little bits of the meeting held earlier and how Volunteer Coordinator and I disrupted the meeting with our version of “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough”. I also spun some random yarn about curling. In the middle of roaring out the story complete with hand gestures, I noticed that FED was wincing in pain and giving me the “shh shh” pantomime with her pursed lips telling me to keep it down. So, I switched to my indoor voice… only for a couple of sentences though, cuz you can’t keep a good story down especially when the narrator mixes wine and beer!

Oh well. Good times.

Writing this, I am finding it hard to concentrate. No, not because of the wine. I am hearing my neighbors begin their nightly “discussion”…

F***ing Whore: “Why do you always go there, Lazy A**hole?”

Lazy A**hole: “You make me so crazy, F***ing Whore! I wish you would leave me alone!”

F***ing Whore: “You couldn’t live without me! You are so {inaudible}”

I have lived in my apartment for 2 years and have heard nary a peep from the other side of the wall until about a month ago. I am sure F.W. and L.A. are simply running their lines for some artsy production of Romeo and Juliet, but honestly do they have to do this at 10:30pm on a school night?